Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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