my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
