I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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