somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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