had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
