Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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