Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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