He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
