why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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