ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize