thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
