I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
