My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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