im having a threesome with these popsicles
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
