so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
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Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
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I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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