the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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