i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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