i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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