made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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