Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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