you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize