Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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