I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
