never play flip cup with pint glasses
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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