They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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