But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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