I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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