wat bout pragnant strippers??
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
