did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
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She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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