Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
