she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
