Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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