My room smells like vodka and shame
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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