his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
