Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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