your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
