She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
