Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
