well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he fucked my hip out of place.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
