this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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