Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
