i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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