i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
