It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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