Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.

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  (330): I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry. (1-330): Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now. http://tfl.nu/tk0f
  Replies (28) Good night (800) Bad night (4221)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?

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  (804): Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex? http://tfl.nu/035m
  Replies (26) Good night (1437) Bad night (4443)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch

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  (812): Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch http://tfl.nu/sdde
  Replies (13) Good night (5009) Bad night (1083)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.

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  (806): That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car. http://tfl.nu/uk3l
  Replies (8) Good night (2040) Bad night (3262)
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  (310): View more from California

  When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.

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  (310): When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing. http://tfl.nu/i23j
  Replies (16) Good night (3096) Bad night (1084)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.

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  (201): You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow. http://tfl.nu/omx3
  Replies (7) Good night (856) Bad night (1450)
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  (925): View more from California

  Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?

  (1-925): View more from California

  Come on man nobody wants to admit that

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  (925): Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night? (1-925): Come on man nobody wants to admit that http://tfl.nu/8oz0
  Replies (7) Good night (3063) Bad night (813)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight

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  (516): I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight http://tfl.nu/tjyz
  Replies (0) Good night (1080) Bad night (432)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.

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  (314): It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved. http://tfl.nu/gg0m
  Replies (3) Good night (909) Bad night (453)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five

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  (630): You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five http://tfl.nu/ynd3
  Replies (1) Good night (902) Bad night (442)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.

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  (+44): Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least. http://tfl.nu/hzkn
  Replies (11) Good night (1330) Bad night (533)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"

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  (319): That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion" http://tfl.nu/w9if
  Replies (12) Good night (2506) Bad night (778)
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.

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  (707): I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies. http://tfl.nu/fb0w
  Replies (2) Good night (711) Bad night (408)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!

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  (319): No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy! http://tfl.nu/f6zv
  Replies (10) Good night (568) Bad night (464)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...

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  (970): you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants... http://tfl.nu/t3k2
  Replies (2) Good night (311) Bad night (442)

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