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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.

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• (845): View more from New York

  you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  why does he always try to puke into shot glasses

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• (631): View more from New York

  does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man

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• (310): View more from California

  My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.

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• (818): View more from California

  Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.

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