If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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