Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together

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(480): U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together http://tfl.nu/9vec

Replies (14) Good night (486) Bad night (1948) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

Where you at

(1-917): View more from New York City

assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?

(917): View more from New York City

Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.

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(917): Where you at (1-917): assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup? (917): Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed. http://tfl.nu/v1xe

Replies (7) Good night (660) Bad night (2603)
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(905): View more from Toronto

I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.

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(905): I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room. http://tfl.nu/wji4

Replies (12) Good night (558) Bad night (4649) Order T-Shirt
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(616): View more from Michigan

Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.

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(616): Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy. http://tfl.nu/q0bl

Replies (8) Good night (2869) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.

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(902): Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/j9u3

Replies (35) Good night (956) Bad night (12542) Order T-Shirt
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(316): View more from Kansas

And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.

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(316): And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you. http://tfl.nu/vzzi

Replies (7) Good night (3781) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.

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(403): Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying. http://tfl.nu/rtdk

Replies (42) Good night (8173) Bad night (1747) Order T-Shirt
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(320): View more from Minnesota

A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.

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(320): A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears. http://tfl.nu/pw7m

Replies (41) Good night (2210) Bad night (4999) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.

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(415): dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint. http://tfl.nu/divk

Replies (25) Good night (9035) Bad night (1043)
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(514): View more from Quebec

Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?

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(514): Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene? http://tfl.nu/zsme

Replies (3) Good night (967) Bad night (2829) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.

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(313): I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city. http://tfl.nu/cnew

Replies (9) Good night (1179) Bad night (2372) Order T-Shirt
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(706): View more from Georgia

I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level

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(706): I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level http://tfl.nu/0mkf

Replies (11) Good night (1312) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

I cant shower it involves moving...

(219): View more from Indiana

Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.

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(317): I cant shower it involves moving... (219): Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame. http://tfl.nu/d6ka

Replies (8) Good night (2265) Bad night (494)
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(208): View more from Idaho

That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.

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(208): That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality. http://tfl.nu/t1cp

Replies (9) Good night (902) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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(406): View more from Montana

i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood

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(406): i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood http://tfl.nu/i7ix

Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (220) Order T-Shirt

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