Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit