Ambien. No doubt about it.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.