Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Get your hand out of your ass!

(734): View more from Michigan

how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?

(650): View more from California

In your belly button

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(650): Get your hand out of your ass! (734): how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..? (650): In your belly button http://tfl.nu/hvbh

Replies (3) Good night (1004) Bad night (1245)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...

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(307): try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip... http://tfl.nu/dmfu

Replies (25) Good night (5075) Bad night (952)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Could a canary swim?

(952): View more from Minnesota

Last time I ever let you pet sit.

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(651): Could a canary swim? (952): Last time I ever let you pet sit. http://tfl.nu/tcs0

Replies (10) Good night (663) Bad night (3179)
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(705): View more from Ontario

Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.

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(705): Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant. http://tfl.nu/28ci

Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (3040)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.

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(662): Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God. http://tfl.nu/m55y

Replies (34) Good night (3964) Bad night (1953)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.

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(304): just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter. http://tfl.nu/doob

Replies (10) Good night (5221) Bad night (453)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty

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(860): Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty http://tfl.nu/6xch

Replies (14) Good night (4408) Bad night (1078)
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(845): View more from New York

The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy

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(845): The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy http://tfl.nu/dldv

Replies (46) Good night (1066) Bad night (5345)
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(417): View more from Missouri

In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.

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(417): In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D. http://tfl.nu/wwrb

Replies (9) Good night (2691) Bad night (834)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested

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(201): she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested http://tfl.nu/bnqm

Replies (6) Good night (1693) Bad night (505)
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(415): View more from California

It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.

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(415): It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys. http://tfl.nu/8bog

Replies (10) Good night (441) Bad night (1382)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Get you some cowboy.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.

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(832): Get you some cowboy. (832): In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself. http://tfl.nu/cgrb

Replies (6) Good night (932) Bad night (351)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.

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(704): You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now. http://tfl.nu/1b3b

Replies (2) Good night (726) Bad night (240)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.

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(662): He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it. http://tfl.nu/e1a5

Replies (5) Good night (1037) Bad night (191)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."

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(603): Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face." http://tfl.nu/jkkv

Replies (0) Good night (192) Bad night (323)

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