I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.