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U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
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