Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.