Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut. http://tfl.nu/n8g7
  Replies (34) Good night (1083) Bad night (3898)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home. http://tfl.nu/lnz2
  Replies (23) Good night (1203) Bad night (5739)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It usually does with you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit (1-717): It usually does with you http://tfl.nu/9ly0
  Replies (6) Good night (4386) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye http://tfl.nu/fu4x
  Replies (25) Good night (3675) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent. http://tfl.nu/742m
  Replies (10) Good night (1499) Bad night (2362)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be. http://tfl.nu/nyya
  Replies (2) Good night (1432) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.

  (917): View more from New York City

  that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride. (917): that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks. http://tfl.nu/bp4f
  Replies (3) Good night (1687) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it. http://tfl.nu/uopt
  Replies (18) Good night (591) Bad night (1475)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home. http://tfl.nu/j8m0
  Replies (10) Good night (537) Bad night (1870)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work? http://tfl.nu/ejxj
  Replies (8) Good night (955) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy. http://tfl.nu/lqb9
  Replies (5) Good night (1460) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny. http://tfl.nu/fa67
  Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist http://tfl.nu/rhd5
  Replies (0) Good night (798) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult http://tfl.nu/tb3l
  Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student. http://tfl.nu/vc6z
  Replies (1) Good night (759) Bad night (303)

Randomize