She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
