I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
