I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my sisters under your porch take her home
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
we're so committed to being not committed
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