Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
