He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
