So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
