I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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