Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
