We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
