the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
