it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I did not marry a roomba.
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