Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
