just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
