I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
