he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
