Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
