he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize