I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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