great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Congratulations! We have a period
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